More Than A Klutz To Me
by MissEmileigh
Summary: Emmett has just bought Rock Band, and while playing he discovers Bella's secret. Pranks and mud insured. This was my first fanfic and I've finally update to the last chap. So... yeahh!
1. Rock Band

Rock Band

"Hey, guys, check this out!" I called to Bella and Edward. I had just bought Rock Band, the new Guitar Hero, which had a microphone, drum set, guitar and you could use the Guitar Hero guitar if they went to the same gaming system.

It was so damn awesome- and took up 7 hours of my summer Wednesday already. Rosalie and Alice were out shopping for God- knows- what with Esme and Carlisle was at the hospital. Jasper decided to watch for a while; he'd played almost 6 hours with me.

I heard Edward explain to Bella what I wanted and then he picked her up (ignoring her humanly grumbles) and flew down the stairs.

To show off, I selected a pretty tough song for the average human… it was something I'd bought earlier on the XOBX Live Marketplace.

Yes, I know I'm a vampire and am good at everything, and no, I didn't think that was hard. Okay, maybe a little, but I had a three person audience. That's bound to put some pressure on a guy. And Jasper was no help, either, adding even more nervousness to me.

Bella had walked out of Edward's arms when I finished it and picked up the other guitar.

"What are you doing?" I asked, totally confused. She only smiled, tossing the strap over her shoulder.

I watched as Bella added the other guitar and the microphone to the band and the song _Dani California_ (I had no clue she liked the Red Hot Chili Peppers). She didn't look at me, but her face was very smug and un- Bella like.

That was when Edward walked in with Alice's mic stand, don't ask, and set it up to the Rock Band mic.

No way! I thought. Edward snickered at my gaping. Bella, the human- the klutz-, was going to sing and play at the SAME TIME!

We played through the entire song, and I totally sucked. I was ogling at Bella's performance. Man, she was on EXPERT for both instruments, not that the song was tough on guitar though, and got a 99 on BOTH! She could also sing very, very good. I mean well. Shit! Does it look like I care?

"Holy crap, Bella!" I yelled. "What the hell is your problem, chick?"

She grinned and shook her head. "How could this... this human beat you? You're a vampire!" I stared her down long enough after the last jab so that she blushed and explained this outrage to me. "When I visited my cousins back in Phoenix, they had Guitar Hero, so we would battle. And yes, I was beat by some rotten naives. Don't worry, Emmett, you aren't the only one who sucked at first." She 

patted my shoulder. "So I did enough and I got halfway through the songs on hard, and then Phil bought it for him and me. I played it all the time and soon I was on expert. And _totally_ kicking my step- dad's butt." We all laughed.

I suddenly got an idea and shared it with my telepathic brother, who laughed even harder at it. Bella and Jasper looked at him, so I told them what it was.

"Bella, I know that the song _Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld_ is on here." She gave me a look that I got more than enough from my wife. "Oh, come on. Don't tell me you've never seen _South Park_... with that kid in the wheelchair and all he can say is 'Timmy' but it sounds like Tim- ay."

"Phil watched it," she thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure I remember the kid. Anyway..."

"It's the funniest song in the world; it's like screaming. We could pick a song for Rosalie and- without her knowing what it is- have her sing it. Please tell me you'll help me beat the songs up until then and she'll probably be home by then."

A wicked smile flashed over Bella's face as she listened to me. "Let's do it."


	2. Lunchbox of Lemonade Strikes

Lunchbox of Lemonade Strikes

"Okay, what should we call our band?" I asked.

"Uh, Lunchbox of Lemonade." She looked completely serious, so I stared at her like an utter moron.

"All right..." I swear. Bella had mental problems.

Edward's phone rang.

"Yes, Alice?"

"I'll get Rosalie out of here in an hour only if the plan Emmett pulled together goes through."

"That's all we need. But can't she hear you?"

"No," I heard Alice giggle. "I ditched her when she was in the dressing room."

"We'll see you then, I guess."

He snapped his phone shut with a one- thousandth of his strength and made me go on the drums.

It didn't take long for the four of us to make it to the song. Bella was forced to the mic, but Jasper rocked on bass.

A little while later, we heard the front door open and the girls put the umpteen bags in their rooms.

"Hey, Rose!" I yelled up to her. "I want you to do a song."

"What song?" she wondered, already by my side.

"Turn around, it's a surprise." Jasper and Alice were doubled over laughing (or dying) silently.

"If you dare..." Rosalie didn't even bother to finish her threat. And I really didn't want to know what she had in mind.

Bella had it all set up and we hit expert on the mic for Rose. We told her to turn around while Bella handed her the microphone.

_Oh, God!_ I thought. Edward_, you do know I'm not going to live after this, right?_

He grinned and nodded happily.

_Thanks. I'm glad I have some family to go down with me. _

Edward gave me a confused look.

_Well... you came up with the plan... no you and Jasper! I had no say in it, and I tried to talk you out of it, but you wouldn't budge. She'll believe me rather than you._ Maybe I would live.


	3. Mud

Mud

"That was really a great experience, Emmett," Rosalie said a few hours later.

We were lying on our bedroom floor, hands behind our heads, after she showed me her new clothes and stuff.

When she sang, Rosalie made the song sound beautiful, like "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. I have three women in the family with super hearing; I couldn't escape Celine Dion for almost five years. After, she faked this extremely pissed scene and totally scared Jasper and Edward out of the house, taking their girls with them.

Apparently, she liked it. I don't know if I wanted her to be mad or not. But then she forced us to stop 'cause Bella ratted me out with the whole "he's been playing for almost 12 hours straight" stuff- I think she just wanted alone time with Edward, though. Queer...

"What do you think Bella and Edward are doing?" I asked. It was only 8:30 on a summer night, so she wouldn't be in bed for a while.

"Sshh," Rose whispered. She looked like she was concentrating on something really hard. I did, too.

I was hearing whispers that sounded a lot like Edward and Bella right outside our back window. I grinned at Rosalie and kept my thoughts focused on her while I snuck to the window. The two were standing beneath it.

"RRRRAAAAHHH!" I yelled as I opened the window in a flash.

Before I could see them run in terror, my face was pelted in mud. And I heard them laughing hysterically.

I jumped out of the window and started towards them.

Edward threw Bella over his back and raced into the forest. I could hear her breathing and still giggling and that made me even giddier to catch them, soak them with the hose until they looked like drowned cats, and cake mud ALL OVER THEM!

"That's not going to happen, brother," I heard Edward say. Yeah, I thought it, and it wasn't too smart. I blinked, and then my brother was gone. I heard nothing but the wind... shouldn't I'd have heard Bella's panting, though?

"Just you wait, Eddie!" I yelled. I knew it'd make him mad- Edward didn't like the nicknames his name came with. The rest of us Cullen kids had lots of fun with them.

I heard a gasp, a snarl, and then Edward was on top of me with his teeth bared. I threw him off of me, straight into the tree he and Bella had hidden in before (and yes, she fell, and yes, he caught her), and ran to the mud pile.

"Don't you dare," he warned severely. But it was too late.

_Plop_. Edward's face was caked in mud. I grabbed another handful to lob at Bella- lightly!- but I was cut off.

Alice held the hose, laughing like a maniac, and turned it on... full blast. Bella was knocked down- duh- and Edward tried to help her up, but slipped in the mud and fell. It was hilarious!

Here my brother and soon- to- be sister- in- law sit, trying not to fall again while they are being blasted with icy water by my sister, and I'm standing there like Superman.

"Thanks for the idea, Emmett!" Alice called to me while running into the house, still laughing.

"Umm, Emmett, I'd run if I were you," Bella muttered.

"Naw," I disagreed. "He won't do anything."

The next thing I know, Edward and I are wrestling in the mud with Bella giggling. We sat up, Edward looking very un- Edward like, and Bella grinned.

"Don't ask me to help you explain to Esme," she said, holding up her hands.

Edward and I looked at each other, completely horrified now.

We walked back to the back door and opened in time to see Alice and Esme standing next to it.

"Bella, why don't you go upstairs with Alice? She'll get you cleaned up," Edward whispered and kissed her.

"Okay." She looked like she was about to explode from holding in laughter, but she went with Alice.

Esme had her hands on her hips and was looking like Wonder Mom... and we were the villains. Her face held the question, if not Alice got to her. I figured she'd heard from Alice, but I still explained- from fright.

I made hand motions as I explained. "Um, you see, whispers and the window and mud and jump and... and...running and, uh, and jumping and more running and Alice and the hose water and falling and rolling... and yeah."

"Nice explinaton," Edward hissed.

_At least I said something,_ I thought and I heard him sigh.

"Showers. Now," Esme demanded.

We trudged upstairs, but I could hear Bella and Alice completely laughing their heads off at the top of the stairs.


	4. Weeks later

**Yeupp… okay, I know I haven't updated in like forever but I was thinking of an ending and honestly wasn't sure if I should just end it there. Please forgive me… and I've been working on **_**a lot**_** more stories (hint hint: please read and comment!!). **

**This chapter is kinda short but it's the ending one so… yeahh. Haha on with the story. And it's still in Emmett's POV.**

**And this is the last time I will say that I don't own Twilight in **_**More Than A Klutz To Me**_** *sobs***

It had been a few weeks since the Rock Band incident and I had just gotten back from shopping with Jasper. We went to the Game Stop. Mhm, you see where I'm going here.

So Edward and Bella were fighting over her immortality (*rolls eyes*) and then Edward finally distracting her with what she calls "dazzling" (*rolls eyes again*). But this time he didn't seem to have the same effect on her as usual. I shrugged at Jasper who mumbled he could really care less.

"Stay here and don't move," I heard Bella order to Edward. "I'm getting something to eat and then we will continue this discussion later." My blond brother and I snorted under our breath, Edward hissed at us, and then Bella came stomping down the stairs. "Stupid, shiny Volvo owning, unreliable vampire," she muttered even though everyone within a fifty mile radius could hear her.

"Something wrong, Bella?" I asked innocently.

She glared at me but replied, "Edward's still not going to change me unless we get married."

"It's not that bad," I said. "I quite enjoy it, actually."

The human didn't respond and just looked at me while grabbing an Oreo from the pantry. Who comes up with the name Oreo anyway? It's kind of stupid. The thing is just a disgusting chocolate cookie with icing in the middle.

"Tell me about it," Edward whispered from upstairs even though there was no possible way Bella could hear him even if he spoke.

Oblivious to Edward in his bedroom above us, Bella waltzed over and looked at the gargantuan bag we had gotten.

"Whatcha guys up to?" She asked, curious but wary.

I grinned at her like a fool, waiting for the idea to click in her tiny head. She just watched me while Edward coughed a laugh loud enough for her to hear.

"EDWARD I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE!" She screeched. Wow, she must be pissed at him because I'd never heard him be so frightened in his life; he had taken a few steps from the bed, but she couldn't hear that, and completely froze when the chick yelled.

"Chill, Bella," Jasper said in a smooth Jamaican accent, releasing his special vampire superpower over us all. But Bella did not even move- her eyes only darted to Jasper and he cowered away under her glare. "Sorry," he murmured, too scared for anything louder.

Bella sighed. "I'm sorry, Jasper," she said gently. She walked over to him and wrapped her fragile arms around his shoulders in a friendly hug. I saw him stiffen for a moment before embracing her back.

"You guys are creepers," I said, shaking my head and turning back to the bag covered box.

"So what's in there, Emmett?" Bella asked, standing at my side.

Edward came down the stairs then yelling, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" He stopped suddenly when he saw his possibly- almost- fiancée.

She had her fists on her hips and was looking up at him through her eyelashes, a painful, evil way to look at someone. I'd know from Rosalie. Ah, Rosalie my lovely, sexy, smart woman. She was the apple of my eye; the wonderful not end to my circle of immortal life; she was like the tennis ball to my dog or the Hayley Williams to my Paramore. Rosalie completed me and her long, blonde hair the color of corn was impossibly soft and her skin was like satin. The way she shopped was even marvelous to look at….

"Emmett!" roared Edward, probably hearing my thoughts.

"Edward," Bella was saying when I finally snapped out of it. "It's rude to scream at your brother and even more bothersome to come bounding down the stairs yelling _no_ at the top of your lungs multiple-"

"Nine," I said.

"Thank you. Nine times. Now go back up the stairs and walk down calmly like a good vampire." He trudged back up the stairs and came back down at a normalish speed. Jasper and I snickered at him. Bella thanked him and took his hand in hers. "Now that that's over, Emmett what's in that big box thingie?"

"Prepare yourself mortal human for the amazing works of…." I looked at Jasper who grabbed the drum sticks from Rock Band and rapped them on the couch in a drum roll. "ROCK BAND TWO!"

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" Edward screamed. "Emmett, I hate you!"

"Yesssssssssssssssssssss!" Bella cried at the same time. "Emmett, I love you!"

"Wow," Jasper commented. "You freaks _are_ meant for each other." Edward and Bella stared him down for what felt like the millionth stare- down today.

"Are we going to play or not?" I asked impatiently. They agreed, took their rightful spots and we began the game.

Only five hours later this time, Rosalie and Alice came home from their shopping spree in Seattle. They wanted to play so Edward and Bella gave up their instruments for the girls. Only this time, Rosalie made Alice sing. It was fun for another few hours and then Carlisle came home.

"So Bella, how are the medications I gave you?" he asked. "For your stress and PMS?"

Bella turned bright red and mumbled, "They're fine, thanks. Oh and Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Whatever makes you happy, Bella."

"Okay."

"Bella," Carlisle said. "How long has it been since you took the meds?"

"I haven't taken them all day," she admitted, turning the deepest shade of red I'd ever seen in my life.

"Well that explains it!" Edward said, exasperated.

"Sorry, Edward. I left them at home." The human with major issues laughed, embarrassed.

"So can we please continue the game?" Jasper wondered, probably needing to quit making blood rush to Bella's cheeks.

"Yeah," I grunted, trying not to burst out laughing.

"Do you think they'd make a third one?" Rose asked, oblivious to the guitar part she was playing.

"I'd count on it." Alice winked but never faltered in her singing. Edward and Bella groaned and collapsed against the couch, defeated from the amazing video game.

"Alice?" Edward said.

"Huh?" I wondered what he could possibly want now.

"I still owe you from the spectacular mud bath I took a few weeks ago." Oh snap! I'd forgotten he and I had talked about this yesterday. It was payback time.

"No," she whispered hoarsely, seeing our plan. And with that, she dropped the microphone and ran to her bedroom where I could hear the zipping of suitcases and thumps of clothing hitting the bottom of them. She sprinted, with the bags in her arms, out to her Porsche. We all paused to hear the tires speed on the driveway and her yell: "OUR SECRET PLACE, JASPER! OUR SECRET PLACE!"

Wow, we all really did fit into the family. Each and every one of us was idiots who didn't understand a thing and just were… stupid. Except me that is. Well that concludes my story. I hope you all liked it and will remember it in fifty years when I'm still twenty three and you're however old you are now plus fifty.

**I don't really know about the ending, but I like it. And Bella's on meds due to stress from the possible wedding and of course Aunt Flow. Hope ya'll enjoyed the story and well… that's it. Please comment!! I love you for all of your support on my first story (even though I have, like, 8 now. Ha ha). **

**~Emileigh**


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